To those of you who were invited to participate in BSF’s spiritual life survey (I was told 55 classes were selected randomly to participate), I’d like to ask your thoughts on it afterwards and what/if you learned anything.
To me, it was a bit depressing, especially the part that addressed my engagement with non-Christians.
I’m a homebody. I don’t get out much. I homeschool. I don’t have a lot of friends. Hence, I really don’t talk about Christian issues either with Christians or non-Christians.
Hence, most of my answers were ‘never’ to those questions.
I also was a bit negative about being prepared by BSF to speak about my faith. I don’t feel comfortable explaining Jesus to others. Probably because I’ve never really done it. Weird, right?
I don’t get into a lot of Jesus conversations. Probably because I don’t get out much…
I was also negative about the seminars because since they don’t offer childcare, I am unable to attend any of them. I was negative about the community BSF is and the relationships it creates because personally I have made no friends at BSF. I can’t attend fellowships much due to my children as well which doesn’t help. I was negative about the group leaders because most of the time they never answer a question and my group leader is an acquaintance, someone I’d chat with about the weather, and nothing more. This has been the case for my entire 4 years in BSF.
The teaching leader I was ambivalent on as well. To me, being an engaging speaker is more important than being personal. If I’m falling asleep during lecture, it won’t matter what you talk about, be it personal or not, in the end.
Surprisingly, there were no questions on the notes. Hmmm…..
I’m not sure how BSF will use the survey because none of the questions offered concrete suggestions or offered up any ideas as to improvement. It was only things like “Are we doing such and such?” and not “What if we did offer childcare at seminars, would you come?” Stuff like that.
Anyways, I thought overall it was good. It asked questions on how you are growing spiritually right now and if you are studying His word and your home church. I think it should be extended to all classes because it was a good self-evaluative tool–however depressing the results were as in my case.
It just made me feel like I’m not doing enough. Like I don’t talk to others about Jesus when I should be. Like I need to be more involved with my church, the poor, and others. That God isn’t number one in my life. That I’m not growing as I should be. That Christian relationships aren’t important to me. That I don’t serve enough. That I’m failing in my Christian walk as a broken, Fallen, inherently selfish human being. Depressing…
I also felt guilty for rating BSF’s job as low sometimes and guilty about pretty much everything else aforementioned. Mainly because I don’t feel like it’s BSF’s job to fix any of this. It’s mine with God’s help. I guess some of the questions struck me as odd that BSF feels it’s their job to help me grow spiritually. BSF is just a tool in my opinion–a tool that I must wield.
I’m responsible for my growth. I’m responsible for growing with others. I’m responsible for making friends or not. I’m responsible for putting God first and learning His word. I’m responsible for attending extra learning opportunities. I’m responsible for everything. But the questions made it seem like I wasn’t at times. Does that make sense?
Hopefully, you all had a better feeling afterwards and are growing with God.
The question I was most embarrassed to answer was this: have you read the Bible all the way through? I had to say no. It’s one of my goals, but I’ve been stuck in the book of John for two years now. So that was depressing. SEVERELY so…
I’d be curious to hear more about how BSF will use the results and how they will offer improvements. I’m sure they spent some money on this so am just wondering if it will be fruitful or not.
I don’t know. I feel like I’m being negative here when I don’t mean to be. I guess it’s just because I’m in a negative funk right now. I’m struggling with attending church. BSF lessons have been a struggle for me as I POSTED a bit ago. Praying has been a struggle as has prioritizing God in my life. Doing much of anything outside of daily living is a struggle. Motivation is severely lacking to say the least…
So I will pray. Pray about my negative attitude. Pray about why I’m in a valley right now in my spiritual growth. Pray for BSF for whatever they are seeking from this survey and pray I helped in some small way.
I will pray….
What else can I do?