How to Care When No One Else Does

Church today reflected on this principle, which is HUGE right now in my life.

If you believe God knows what we need and He has been good to us, then we should want to give to others and believe:

1) Compassion

2) Believe Jesus will help

3) Take action

4) Don’t let difficulties stop you

5) It takes a team

So how do we do all of this when life gets us down?  How do you care about people who don’t care about you?

I’m still working on this myself.  I have a tendency to not care about others who don’t care about me.  I got enough problems than to worry about these people.  Yet, Jesus tells us to.

Well, with God all things are possible.  I think once I get over my current trials, get a house, and take a breather, things will start to settle into place and maybe, just maybe, these principle will too.

Lessons From Kids’ Books

I love kids’ books for the simple reason a lot have positive messages for children–and it turns out, the adults who read them to their children.

I just read “All the Way to Lhasa” by Barbara Helen Berger.  The simple moral is about how we all have our highest hope and our own journey.  May we all keep going like the boy and the yak who journeys steadily to Lhasa.  May all of us reach our shining goal.

I love this.  It’s a simple story (my 1st grader read it to me) yet one that I need to hear, especially as I’m being bogged down in moving and family drama.  It re-focuses my attention on my goal (being published) and the plodding that goes along with it.

The Trials of Getting Out of Bed in the Morning

When I was in college, I went through a bout of severe depression.  Somehow though I never had a problem of getting out of bed in the morning.  This was because I ran about 5 miles every morning and it was ingrained in my system to get up and do it.  Once I was up, I was up.

Not so now.

I wouldn’t say I’m drepressed but this is definitely a valley in my life I’m going through.  I have nothing to motivate me to get out of bed in the morning.  Running is out (I quite several years ago due to a knee injury).  I have no place to exercise at home anymore.  I have no room to get up to and disappear into my fantasy worlds anymore.  It’s hard when you’re confined to one space.

Still, I get up but there is no pleasure it in.  It is forced.

Like this morning.  I got up late and couldn’t get the internet from my bedroom so I had to get up and go outside to the shop to get wireless reception.  Fabulous.

It’s not so bad when it’s warm out but I know fall is coming.  And I’m counting down the days to my new house.

That’s all that’s keeping me going right now.  Knowing a peak is coming so I’m feeding off of that energy to keep me plodding through these lackluster days of nothingness, headaches, and family ‘la-la’ lands.

God provides but on His time frame and I want it to be on mine.

Fighting the Feeling of “Not Wanting to Do Anything”

This weekend our lovely camper overflowed.  It was fabulous.  Waking up in the middle of the night to the rushing sound of water, spending two hours cleaning up, and then dreaming all night of a house.

Ever since, I have been fighting the feeling of not wanting to do anything.  I have no motivation.  I don’t want to exercise on my soggy floors.  It’s uncomfortable to get up and create my novel in.  I don’t really want to leave my bed.  Walking to the in-laws for a shower is a pain.  Waiting for our house (by the way, we found one but it’s 3 weeks out) really doesn’t make it any better.

Life right now is just not exactly fun.

But the girls like school.  Classes are starting for them.  Nothing got ruined in the floor of significant value (besides maybe our camper).  So, all’s not too bad.

Still, staying motivated and on focus is rough.  Is this the Devil at work?  Throwing kinks in my path in order to finish my novels?

It could be.  It seems so.  Dealing with my husband’s juvenile family (his unemployed sister is building a tree house on the back acreage.  Does it get any more bizarre than that?  Oh, and she’s 27, not 7) is something I’d rather stab myself over.

Yet, I know the time is coming.  God gave us this house and this situation.  We’re more than ready and appreciative.  We may end up selling the camper (something else we won’t have to store) so that could be a God thing.  And my novels are coming along.

Life overall is good.  Husband is happy with work.  We’re happy with the forthcoming house.  School is good.  What else can we ask for?

So, I have to keep in mind the positive and ignore all the negative junk, force myself to do something, and the road will upturn before I know it.

You Can Do Anything

The message at church was how Nehemiah got a word from God, acted on it, and great things happened.  Translated to this world:  if you ask God for great things in your life, great things will happen through Him.

God can do anything.

God has more for you than you want for yourself.  If you believe God has spoken to you, you must act on it.  Act on the plans God puts on your heart.

Usually the best things start with one person with a vision.

What are you doing here?

Get over your ‘whatever’ attitude.

Translated for me:  I know I will succeed with my novels.  I know God has great things for my life.  God knows this more than I do.  I just have to believe it myself.

Camper Living

If any of you have ever considered living in your camper for a spell, I would caution you against such a crazy notion–especially if you have 3 little kids and 2 English Mastiffs.

We lived in our camper last year and I didn’t mind it.  The kids and dogs ran around on 50 acres and it was great.

Not so this year.

Our kitchen faucet has a leak so we had to shut off all water to the camper until my husband can fix it.  Well, hubby is in Canada right now so that’s not going to be any time soon so I’m living with no running water to my camper.  Fun stuff let me tell you.

Our converter is not working either so we ran out of batter power and nothing would work until my husband fixed that.

Everything  is a headache and I’ve vowed never to do this again.  It’s just plain dumb on our part.  Sure, we saved some money over our apartment but I haven’t decided yet if it’s worth it or not.

We’re desperate for a home and may have found one but it’s at least a couple of weeks out.  Great.  More fun stuff such as washing my dishes at the water spicket outside my camper, brushing my teeth outside, and walking back and forth to the in-laws at dawn for showers.

All I can think is God is testing me in this.  Can I withstand this?  Can I trust in Him to pull us through?

What could be more lovely than this?

The “Ah-Ha’s!” of Editing

I reluctantly dragged myself to the computer at 4 am this morning to work on my YA draft some more.  It went….pretty blah!  I had no desire to be there even though I know I saw things from a fresh perspective.  I just hate editing, plain and simple.

Until I got an “Ah-Ha!”

But the strange thing was it wasn’t about this YA novel.  It was about my previously finished YA novel that has been with a professional editor for the past few months, that I have had no desire to ever return to, that the writing contest critique ripped to shreds–THAT YA novel.

I realized I need to change the entire ending.  I realized I need to be truer to the character and not tie things up so nicely at the end just for a sequel.  I realized I need to quit thinking of sequels and just focus on the task at hand.  I need to tell what really happened and not what I would have liked to have had happened.

This is probably why it doesn’t work.  This is probably why everyone who has read the thing always says, “You have the makings of a great YA novel but something is just not right…”.

So, now what?  Well, I’m going to finish the YA I’m working on.  It’s fresh and I think it has more market potential.  Then I will return to my gritty and raw YA and make it…new.

The First Day of School Blues

Today was the first day of school and I sent off my first-grader and kindergartner.  Both Daddy and I went and Daddy said he was so proud.  The girls were eager to go.  They were excited and I can’t wait to pick them up and hear all about it.

Part of me is sad.  As a former home schooler, it’s tough watching your kids go off to someone else’s care and the teachers are picking on me to volunteer.  I was all gung-ho to do so but the realities of volunteering with a 2-year old have hit me.  It’s just not going to happen.  I have no reliable source of baby-sitters and I’m certainly not going to pay someone.

But, my girls are happy and we are giving school a go for a year.  We’ll see how much they like it and if it meets my standards (probably not so we’ll see how close they can come).

I Was Right…I Do Suck

I got my writing contest review back and the concensus seemed to be: you suck.

I got high marks on writing, grammar, and characterization but poor marks on plot and dialogue.

It was to be honest a real bummer.  No wonder people quit writing.  Sometimes I feel that way.  I ask all the time, “Is this right?”  “Is this the one?”

I’m glad I did it though.  Once again the suggestion was made to join a writing critique group and I just don’t know how to begin on that one.  I can’t attend with my husband out of town most of the time and the kiddos with me.  I still have a 2-year old who needs me.  It’s hard and frustrating.  I’d love to but really need one on-line.  Any suggestions?

I’m already head-long into my next project so I really have no desire right now to return to the one I got critiqued on.  I probably will at some point but not now.  So, I plan to take these suggestions and apply it to my current work in-progress.  Maybe after the rawness dies down, I can re-visit my other characters.  We’ll see.

The Beauty of a New Car

My husband traded his older Ford truck for a brand new 2010 Dodge Ram 3500 Truck and he (of course) got all the goodies thrown in: rhino lined, third-wheel hitch, and back up camera.  He took my Excursion to fix the brakes to Wyoming and left me with his new truck to drive.

And I’m LOVING it!

It’s so nice and smooth and I like driving a new vehicle.  I’ve owned new vehicles before but I don’t think I fully appreciated it until we got everything taken away in our bankruptcy.  But now, I am definitely enjoying every minute and I joke with my husband, saying he’s not getting it back next week when he returns.

I think everyone should own a new car at least once in their life.  Sure, as soon as you drive off the lot, the vehicle drops in value but who cares?  You get the new car smell and you get a vehicle that only you have owned.  It’s really, REALLY nice.

Now I want a new truck!