Yesterday’s post arose many new thoughts and feelings inside almost immediately upon publishing it.
As someone who has moved around a lot, I miss things from every place I’ve lived (yes, even the last place but only one thing–not many). Be it a house, or the snow constantly falling (even though this was one of my biggest complaints in this place), a church, a school, a homeschooling group, or a way of life.
There are just things from my life, my past life, that I miss. Yet, it’s not like I want them back either (okay, sometimes I do) but where I’m at right now I do not. But it’s this feeling of nostalgia that hits when something surfaces that reminds me of my old life.
I try not to dwell on this now because it is twinged with sadness. So is this a part of life?
I miss my college days. Mainly because I traveled all over the world. But I try not to think on these times because they were very depressing times and I spent most of the time lost and searching…
I look at my dogs. Creatures who spend every moment in the present. Never thinking about the next day or what they will do. About their bodies getting older or the fact they sleep all day now when years ago they played all day. Never contemplating if they will bark at the geese in our field or the dogs that walk by. Never thinking about their death. They just do. Merely getting up each and every day. Living.
And they will continue doing this until the day comes when they do not get up again. And life will go on. Just without them.
This is how it is for us humans too. But we don’t like to think of life continuing on without us.
But it will.
Recently, a teenage girl died in my old community. I had met her once. A family with seven kids, homeschooled, who are very religious. Her obituary talked about how she loved Jesus and it was very uplifting. I was very touched and saddened by her passing as many in the community were. But life didn’t stop. Life moves on. Just differently for those she was close to.
I joke all the time about my dogs dying. But I don’t want them to. They have been a part of my life for 10 years now and I can’t imagine not having them around. But I know the day is coming. And it saddens me.
I will long for them. Like I do each and every place I have lived. It seems a little piece of my heart (in the case of my dogs a big piece) was left there. Some day I’d like to retrieve these pieces. But I know it will probably be when I arrive in Heaven.
Longings are a part of life. It’s what makes us humans. It’s a symptom of our love. The love God put in our hearts.
One day life will go on without me. I pray the longings in my family’s hearts are lessened and quickly. For I would want them to go on living. How God intended them to. And not to think on me except in a nostalgia sort of way.
Ah, life. So many questions, isn’t there?