I actually googled this and nothing helpful came up so I thought I’d write about it…
I am lost.
I don’t know which direction to go. Which direction God wants me to go.
I get up in the mornings….lost.
I have no desire to write.
So I toot around on the Internet for a bit.
Then I look around the house for all those miscellaneous projects to do that I never usually make time to do.
Then I do them.
Then I’m lost again.
I think about this time last year and my life was in turmoil: we were moving.
Today, it’s in turmoil; just in a different way.
Life always seems like this to me. Just when things seem to be on the uptake, it falls.
The specific contributing factors change. Today it’s how my husband’s new job is not what he thought it would be. How we’ve burned through $10,000 in savings in the last few months just paying the bills (and, yes, buying up guns–we are one of THOSE people). And how the book I spent 2 years of my life working on is once again going nowhere and is a pages file on my computer.
So where do I go from here?
My husband wants me to find a way to make money online. Not all that easy.
Me? I’d rather get a real job again. It’s easier.
I’d rather write.
But every time I sit down to write, nothing comes out.
And so far I haven’t earned one dime from my writings.
I just had a birthday and I think, What do I got to show for all these years on earth?
Kids aside, not much.
And I know in one year circumstances will change.
But it will be something else…
And will I always have this lost feeling?
And I’m not talking spiritual here. For I know God.
I am lost in a different way…
A way I pray will not be there next year…