The Day I Realized I Was Ordinary…

…I was pretty depressed.

I had all these dreams of doing something great with my life.  Something noteworthy.  Something extraordinary.  Something big and exciting and unusual.

Then I realized my little life will always be little.

A mom of three kids and some dogs and cats and little else.

I pretend I do other things:  write novels or work a job or play guitar or exercise or be a “Mom who has it all”.

In reality, I don’t want to do any of these things.

It’s all work and I don’t want to work.

Trying to figure out your calling is a challenge.  One I don’t want to do anymore.

I pulled a muscle yesterday.  I realized I’m getting older and my body won’t last forever.

I pissed off some people on my daughter’s soccer team because of another fee I didn’t realize I had to pay and I had the nerve to question it.  I had to apologize for my lack of understanding and secretly vow the end of soccer which is all political bull####.

I woke up this morning.  Made my husband’s lunch.  Did the dishes.  Blogged a bit.  Kissed my husband good-bye and thanked him for earning a living because I am obviously a dysfunctional member of society and would be incapable of surviving in the working world.

This is when it hit me:  yep, I’m ordinary.  Nothing about my life stands out or is even worthy to be remembered.

Don’t tell me I can live an ordinary life in an extraordinary manner.  I’ve heard this enough in my lifetime.

I do realize I am blessed because I know God and Jesus.  Yes, I get that…

But beyond all of that, when it comes down to it, I’m just one person of 7 billion on the planet. Eking out a living and living out an eking…

It’s not a happy day to say the least.  Maybe it will take off some of the pressure I feel to be extraordinary although knowing myself I believe I will always be striving for extraordinary despite my new-found knowledge.

In my kids’ eyes and pets’ eyes, I am extraordinary.  I don’t deserve to be…

Well, I must end this rumination as my ordinary life calls.  It’s trash day, and I must get my trash can out and ready for pick-up.  The dogs need fed.  The kids will be getting up shortly.  And I’m out of coffee…

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38 comments on “The Day I Realized I Was Ordinary…

  1. Tom says:

    Ordinary people are more important than extraordinary people, how so you ask? Let me tell you, if it weren’t for us they wouldn’t know they were extraordinary which makes us more important than them. That is how God designed it. You are special in God’s eyes…

    • Janice E Reynolds says:

      I’ll bet her husband and children suffer because she is so miserable.
      There are a lot more people with less then she has and don’t complain . You have your health, family, a roof over your head and yet your still complaining . You are a writer, you write Atoz mom. You help a lot of us with our studies. For that I thank you.

  2. Sharon Amadori says:

    Oh my gosh. You are forgetting that you are fulfilling The Great Commision of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. How many other people can say that? You are pretty successful in Gods eyes so what else matters?????? Hold your head high!!!!

    Sent from my iPhone

  3. Lissette says:

    How many millions of people do not know Christ or they know him and are indifferent to Him. Like Sharon says “What else matters?” At the end of our life here that is what is going to count. I wish that I had a calling like you do.

  4. Lee Stokes says:

    WOW, you really are a normal person with normal feelings reacting daily to real world stuff. Hang in there, life is short enough as it is. You are way more valuable, loved, and appreciated than maybe even you know. Lee

  5. Anonymous says:

    I love reading your blog. You really are talented at writing. I am glad that you wrote this post. It’s helpful to know that others feel this way from time to time and just not me. Don’t be discouraged… God has a plan for you!

  6. Mimi says:

    What you do everyday for your family and home and the words you share on your blog are exactly what Jesus calls us to do. To feed the hungry with your nutritious words and clothe the naked with your warm thoughts and shelter the lonely with kind acts. Sometimes it takes the reality of the soccer mentality or the criticism others so Freely share to make us think about who we really are and who we belong to and why we are here. Stay strong and God bless you

  7. lutherd@standardequipmentco.com says:

    Well, I have to disagree. You are special. You are special to many folks. The service you provide, the insight, the constant reminders that we need to lift each other up in prayer, is a blessing in and of itself. Not to mention that the Holy Spirit lives within you. Think of the millions of people who are not so greatly blessed and be made aware that they need more than you do. You have many fans, I can’t say that of myself. God Bless you.

    Luther Davis III

    Inside Sales Representative

    Standard Equipment Co., Inc.

  8. DJ Smith says:

    I feel your pain , Atozmomm….God is Good & his grace enables you to do many things. Reset your lense/ outlook & reckon the less fortunate., (i.e; a visit to the local Cancer center.)…”count your blessings one by one & see the good that God has done…”
    Give thanks for hot & cold running water & the daily grind here in USA & be mindful of families in the middle east that do more with less…can you reckon realtime 4 of July audio every day… Give Thanks unto God for all things…\o/

  9. Klaus Miodov says:

    Welcome to the rest of us ordinary people. I get great comfort in knowing that the 12 disciples were just ordinary people. Keep your chin up girl, you touch more lives then you think!!😊

    Have a blessed day!

    Klaus D. Miodov

  10. Andie Evans says:

    I know how you feel. Two years ago I came to the same conclusion about my own life. And then God packed me up, moved me across the country, and surrounded me by people who needed to hear how He loves them. I found that God took me into this barren desert of disappointment to create in me a heart that was really ready to act when I was called. I don’t want to diminish what you’re feeling, but that’s what happened in my life. On the surface, my life hasn’t changed that much…still the same job, still the same family, still the same me. But it feels bigger when God has placed a mission in my life. Just saying, be ready for God to move.

  11. larry stirtz says:

    Who are you to expect to be extraordinary while the rest of us are just ordinary? Enjoy it.

  12. SusieG says:

    You know what I love and appreciate about you my sister? – you are so real and human. Thanks for sharing your gut feelings… we all have them. I am learning that it’s not about me – it all about Him. I received this devotional today… hope it blesses you too.

  13. Paula says:

    Stop complaining. I am 61 and will have to work the rest of my life. My husband lost 7/8th of his retirement and now works at Home Depot. He is not in good health, nor am I. I must use a pain patch and lots of medication, just to be able to go to work every day. I never had children, and wanted them so much. I would be thrilled to stay home with my three dogs and work in the yard and take out the trash. Don’t complain, go get a job if you want to be out of your house. Or just enjoy your children and BSF.
    Turn this over to God, for goodness sake!!!! He is your refuge.

    • Jilly says:

      Stop complaining? That doesn’t sound very compassionate! Especially since “stop complaining” was just before you unloaded your own complaints

  14. Fran Rouse says:

    I love your blog for using your answers to help to know I am on track. Sometimes I feel you are wallowing in pity. I don’t mean that disrespectful but there is always someone much worse off than we are. Think positive and write how blessed you are and the pity party will stop. It works for me.
    Also, using words like pis…. Off is not appropriate in my opinion and bull …. Certainly not. U have a great work U are doing for The Lord but could what U say affect UR witness. Just some food for thought. We are the only Bible that some people read.

    Sent from my iPhone

  15. Karen D. Kudia says:

    Know the feelings….I appreciate your honesty and freshness….its a gigantic universe….within it are the Pharaoh’s, Ruth’s and Naomi’s…..a baby put in a basket in the River Nile….shepherd boys caring for sheep and goats…a carpenter…who lived in backward town….two midwives who feared God and let the baby boys live…World Powers crushing and oppressing…enslaving…Yet….we are told that a new heaven and new earth is coming…a new Jerusalem is being prepared just of us….Evil will be removed one day…that life is extraordinary and usually hidden from us…so we get up and go to the field and glean…..a woman grieves for her husband and sons…… a poor Moabite woman becomes one of the women in Jesus’ ancestry…and she doesn’t have a clue.

    • Sharon says:

      I love what you wrote Karen. Gods word is filled with nobodies that God decided to include as somebodies because they were willing to honor Him. Not only did He remember the midwives but wrote their two names in His book with his people and left pharaohs name out. I’d rather be ordinary than lose my soul with the extraordinary who have it all by the worlds standards. It’s better to be a door keeper or door sweeper in the house of God than enjoy the riches in the tents of the wicked or pharaohs courts. The bible says not many of Gods people are important by the worlds standards.
      Yes take every thought captive because the enemy wants to destroy us by disappointments and pull us in dark places. The front lines make good targets for our enemy. But God is greater and He wants us to put our total confidence in him. In 100 years very few important people today will even be remembered. But God remembers those who love Him and soldier on to serve him. He sees, He hears our pain. He is with us and He will help us. You see your blog seems to sometimes have a life of its own sometimes but your the one who keeps it going by Gods grace! Stand firm against that unseen enemy who hides out in dark places. We are here for Gods glory and kingdom. We will stand with you so you are not really standing alone. We will pray for you too and ask God to help you and recognize when you are being attacked and trust God more and more in those places and each day and have the joy Jesus wants for us all.

  16. Diana says:

    Join the crowd!! I am very happy to be ‘ordinary’. I live for the Lord and my family and don’t much care what others think. I am happy with me and you should be, also. That book will come and so will that job, but you have to remember—-in His time, not yours!

  17. Karen A. says:

    Thanks for the honesty – nice to know I’m not alone! I think your BSF work in itself makes you extraordinary! I love comparing my answers to yours. I had to drop out last spring with about 2 months left. We had several family issues – teens with mental health emergencies and an elderly parent with physical issues in addition to my marriage, my job, my pets and other ordinary things and I just couldn’t attend the weekly class. Nor did I have the energy to read assignments and complete them on my own. But, I did find that reading your answers helped me complete the study in my own unique way. I couldn’t have done that without you! I hate to sound like the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” or like the novel “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”, by Mitch Albom, but “ordinary lives” are indeed marvelous. A quote from the book by Mr. Albom ~ “This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. To have it explained. It is the peace you have been searching for.” And by the way, I bet you pack an awesome lunch and that your trash and recycling are separated perfectly! Thank you!

  18. Miller Gerardy says:

    If you can answer all those questions in BSF, you are extra ordinary. Helps all of us to understand the questions better when we don’t know what they are asking???

    As long as your kids and family think you are great, that’€™s what matters.

    Thanks for your help.

    Nina Gerardy

  19. Kim says:

    I understand how you feel. I am a member of the “sandwich” generation, working hard to put my son through college while caring for aging parents. I am getting older and tire more but the demands are still there. It is hard not to be discouraged when you see or hear of people like Dr. Brantley doing “great” thing for the kingdom. My pastor spoke Sunday of all those disciples of Christ in the scripture that never received any accolades- names we will never know until we get to heaven. Then I realized this is my calling- whatever God has going on in my life at this time. My job is to lean on Him and to do whatever tasks he has before me to the best of my abilities. I still have hope and dreams. I believe Him when he tells us that if we keep our focus on Him that He will give us the desire of our hearts. So keep dreaming and working toward those dreams!

  20. Peggy says:

    Our pastor told us in his sermon Sunday that we are all ordinary. His illustration was David, when they were searching for a king. He was merely a shepherd, which was akin to a slave job. Chuck Swindoll described David’s life as obscure, monotonous, and his reality. How awesome that out of our ordinary lives God can give us our highest calling by us embracing that we are ordinary and by exploring how extraordinary God is!

  21. Klaus Miodov says:

    Hang in there girl. We’re all ordinary people. Just remember. The 12 disciples were just ordinary people. Besides you would be surprised of the impacted you have on people. Keep doing what you’re doing.

  22. Kegstan says:

    Wow! Congrats for keeping it 100! I’ll be 72 next month and love it when people can admit their flaws and keep it moving. Too many times we want to pretend to be perfect, talk perfectly, walk in perfection when God know there are times when we feel and think as you expressed. God knows and understands. Get it out and go on with the awesomeness you are 90% of the time. God loves you and so do I.

  23. DLB says:

    It is the “ordinary” people that are really “extra-ordinary”!

  24. Shelly says:

    While I’m all for honesty and I applaud it, I think we must be 100 honest with ourselves and with God, I am rather surprised you posted this, let me explain why.

    Whether you want to admit it or not, your blog is a ministry of sorts. You have a following and therefore a responsibility before God to point them to our Lord through any darkness we may feel. Honesty in our brokenness is good, trust me we’ve all been there, but then we must view it through the eyes of Christ because that power is real.

    When we “2 Corinthians 10:5” our thoughts: “take our thoughts captive and submit them unto Christ”, we then see things from His perspective and it changes our self pity into rejoicing. I see the first part in this post, the honesty, I don’t see the second part. This has flesh written all over it. Some won’t tell you that because they’re a bit star struck by your talent, some will tell you that because they, like myself have been to hell and back circumstantially and have had to learn the hard way how to submit our thoughts to Christ. I’m not sure if you were fishing for affirmation or just feeling as if it was important to get out (that is what journaling is for) but, this is a very public forum. We will have opinions about this post.

    Personally I’ve seen that having a husband and child with chronic illnesses that required constant care and attention from me has drained me, humbled me and showed me that this life isn’t about me. It’s about how I reflect Him in my suffering and in my relationships and ultimately how truly blessed I am. I mean let’s reality check it: We’re not Christians being beheaded in Iraq by ISIS. We’re not ones who sleep on the streets or wonder where our next meal comes from. Our ordinary lives, even with our hardships and pain, are better than 97% of the rest of the world.

    I’ve read all your personal blog entires over the years. I have only occasionally read your answers as a way to contrast and compare with mine. I haven’t ever read your summaries that I can recall but based on comments I’ve read they are quite good and mean a great deal to those who struggle to get through BSF. What I’ve seen over the years is your desire for personal recognition through your writing become so great that you let the lack of commercial success discourage you from feeling fulfilled day to day and recognizing the purpose you already have, the blessings of that. You’re a bit of a melancholy person but even taking that into consideration you need to take those nagging thoughts of inadequacy captive and submit them to Christ. Not in your strength but through His. Your blogs often make the difference between some studying at BSF or not. Why is that not something to find purpose and joy in? That’s more than most of us have. Look at all the gifts God has given you in your family. Those kids will be gone before you know it (I know, I just went through it) and you won’t have that day to day hands on interaction anymore. Be thankful for all that you do have today. This year you will see in the study of Moses how God dislikes grumbling and complaining. How we need to choose gratitude. Its notch at we’re to be dishonest or fake in our hardships but truly see our lives through His eyes and purpose.

    You may one day write a book that reaches millions but I suspect it may not happen until you choose to move your desire for personal affirmation out of the way and replace it with a sincere desire to honor God alone. When we do that, that’s when I’ve seen the most amazing breakthroughs in the lives of His children. Ultimately, we are not all going to be famous writers, or astronauts, or discover a cure for cancer. However we are people who must give an account for every word that we’ve said (Matt 12:6) and what we’ve done with Jesus. Let that be your guide in grading your life because from where I sit you’ve done a lot for Him in writing this blog which keeps others studying.

  25. Carol says:

    All the comments are wonderfully said. You truly are extraordinarily ordinary….and that is a good thing. You are a wonderful Mother to your children, wife to your husband doggy Mom to your pets and to those of us who are grateful to you for giving us insight into BSF, thank you. I truly feel you are feeling low because you pulled a muscle and your spirits are low. When my spirits are feeling low, I definitely reach for God’s hand and ask him to help me though the day and guide me where I am supposed to be. And, I express my gratitude to him for the challenges because we are to be grateful for the bad and the good. These things help is to grow. Being ordinary is not a bad thing. The people we sometimes see as extraordinary can quite often have empty personal lives. I have friends like that. I used to envy their huge success but when let into their real lives I would not trade my ordinary life for theirs ever. Do not forget in the eyes of our Lord you are extraordinary. Stay strong, pray and allow the Holy Spirit to keep you centered.

  26. Karen says:

    welcome to my world. i too had great dreams that didn’t come true and regrets that weigh me down. i don’t understand why i am where i am. someone in my group today said “God prepares us for what we do” i totally disagreed. God never prepared me for all i am dealing with, so i just hang on to His coat tails knowing i will never totally understand until i am with Him. not always ok but it will have to do. where you are very extra not ordinary is the faith and diligence you have to posting your BSF thoughts on the questions we are given. i sooooo appreciate this dedication because there are times [even after 18 yrs in BSF] that my brain freezes and i love the input which usually gets me thinking in ways i wouldn’t. sludge through this time. you know deep down God will love and guide you. Go Well

  27. Amy says:

    I am a fellow sister in Christ and a fledgling BSF member. Thank you for keeping it real! I too doubt my purpose in life and what God’s plan is for me and what talents I bring to the table. I feel your pain but also the joy of knowing that God knows our purpose and talents and will continue to lead us in the direction we are to go even if it is “ordinary”. But nothing of God’s is ordinary is it?!

  28. cbarry7 says:

    So you think you’re ordinary? You’re wrong. Your duties may be ordinary, but you have extraordinary influence. Your thoughts and heart that you honestly display on this blog affect and influence me. And I affect my children, who affect kids at school, church, and BSF. You stir my thoughts, and God uses that to stir my heart. And I affect my friends, family, people at church, and people at BSF. And they affect others. You are a world-changer, starting with mine. And you don’t even know me. Pretty extraordinary… Praise the Lord.

  29. Judy says:

    Maybe you are feeling better today; we all have down days. Oswald Chambers speaks of our “ordinary
    days”. Ordinary can be good. That means things are going OK. My daughter would love to be ordinary and do ordinary things. But she has lyme disease, suffers from insomnia and cannot eat without feeling sick sometimes so she is down to 90 lbs. She spends most days in bed feeling weak and tired. I don’t
    want to make you feel guilty for feeling ordinary, but Oswald Chambers also says that the first thing that will hinder our joy in Jesus is giving too much thought to our circumstances. So my daughter tries to
    see the joy in each day even if it is only to sit by the window on a crisp, sunny day and enjoy the sound of the crickets, trusting God to get her through another day and maybe someday she can have a job again and feel energetic and that she have some purpose in life. Keep your chin up, AtoZ, We all appreciate that you share your insights with us and to us you are not just ordinary. God is using you to help each of
    us in our faith journey with our Lord.

  30. Mel Wright says:

    There are many BSF members who appreciate the work you do every week in helping us better understand God’s word. I consider you extra-ordinary! I am sure the members of your family feel the same. Please keep up the good work and know that I feel closer to Christ because of the work you do every week. Thanks, and may God continue to bless you, Mel

  31. Mary Thompson says:

    Hi you hit the nail on the head everything you wrote I feel the same way. One thing I am very grateful in my life I have Jesus Christ in my life.

  32. Jilly says:

    Wow! I feel like you were in my head and writing my thoughts. I also have struggled with feelings of this manner. I blame it on the comic books I read growing up and the media having us think a small percentage of people (celebrities, politicians….) are more important or better than everyone else. As much as I’d love to shell out some great comfort, I can only give you the “me too” virtual hug of communal understanding. As much as I’d like to think I’ll do something great that will leave a mark in this world, I know in my heart the only markings I will probably make will be remembered in one to two generations of people after I am gone. That sounds super egotistical to want my footnote in a history book, but I understand wanting to be impactful beyond our friends and family.

    On a side note, I just had my third baby. This is my first year at BSF and between pregnancy brain and post pregnancy brain, I’ve really needed your blog to help me better prepare for my classes. I know I should be more dedicated to finding the answers on my own, but it’s not that type of season for me, and I’m lucky to even be prepped enough to know what part of the Moses story we are reading. So, we’ve never met, and I look to your blog throughout the week. It’s not much, but I really appreciate this blog and the wisdom you share. 🙂

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