Below is my query letter for my newly-completed New Adult Novel. Any advice and improvements would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
When nineteen-year-old American college student Suzie Smith overhears a plot to blow up a building in London, her fun-filled year abroad now becomes a race against time to discover the details and stop the bombing. The main problem: one of the bombers is her boyfriend, Edward Long.
Convinced her unassuming, gentle boyfriend could not possibly be involved, Suzie pushes the knowledge out of her mind, chalking it up to the exorbitant amount of alcohol she has been consuming lately. Until the talk continues and escalates. She learns the building is none other than the Palaces of Westminster and the bombing is happening soon—less than a fortnight.
She reports what little she knows to the police who promptly dismiss her as a naive American—except for one hard-nosed Irishman, Inspector Reilly. However, he is unable to convince his bosses without more information, which he presses Suzie to learn.
Overwhelmed, Suzie decides her best strategy is to spend as much time as possible with Edward in hopes he’ll open up to her. Along the way, Suzie has the time of her life, traveling to Paris and Scotland. And Suzie does learn more—she learns she’s falling in love with Edward.
As the line between real and not real becomes blurred, can Suzie choose? If she betrays Edward, he may die. If she keeps her mouth shut, scores will die. How will she choose? And when she does, what will it cost her?
This is a contemporary new-adult novel and the first in a planned series. It is complete at 82,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
End Note: Character names have been changed and details in paragraph four and the title omitted. Also, any technical advice as well would be greatly appreciated such as are the stakes clearly shown? Would you ask to see pages? Why or why not? Anything else you all see that I’m too close to see?
P.S. For those non-writers out there, a query letter is the first step into landing a literary agent who sells your work to publishers. It’s a critical component in getting published.