I Can Only Imagine

This is my first movie review ever on this blog in the nine years I’ve been blogging here so you know it’s good!

I took the kids over the weekend to see I Can Only Imagine.  It was well worth it.

We follow the story of Bart Millard, the lead singer of MercyMe, and how he came to write the iconic song of the same name.  I think we’ve all heard the song, it touches all of us in places we all need it, and I was curious as to how it came about as well.  Any song or piece of art or novel that touches the soul like this song does has to come from somewhere and truly it has to be from God.  Mankind is only God’s instrument.  Everything we say and do and accomplish is only possible because of Him. This song expresses what we all wonder and feel about heaven and gives us hope and peace once we get there.  It gets us through grief.  It encourages us.  It speaks to us.  Like God speaks to us.  Because it is ultimately God who is speaking to us here.

According to the movie, Bart grew up in an abusive family.  His father wanted to play professional football and his dream didn’t happen.  As a result, he took out his anger and frustration on Bart.  He left after graduating high school and pursued his music dreams.  He returned home to find his dad dying of cancer but a changed man after having found Jesus.  They reconciled before his death and Bart wrote this song for his dad after he died.

Some lessons from the movie:

1)  It’s never too late.  It’s never too late to do something with your life and it’s never too late to forgive someone and reconcile.  Life is too short to hold onto pain and hurts.

2)  Pain can be your inspiration.  Be authentic.  Do what makes your heart sing.  Help others through your experiences and pain.  Use your hurts as gifts from God to grow and help others.

3)  God can do/redeem anything and anyone.  God and Jesus change people.  They grab a hold of their hearts and don’t let go.  Trust in the Lord.  Pray for others.  Never give up on God doing the impossible.  In your life and in others’.

Great movie.  Highly recommended.  A tear jerker for sure.  Great lessons for the kids.  Inspiring.  Faith-building.  Heart-warming. Who could ask for more in a movie?

I Feel Like a Horrible Person

I just feel horrible this morning.  I say stupid things.  I have no feelings sometimes for others when I probably should.  I don’t think a lot beyond my immediate family.  I’m too over-protective and have trouble letting go.

I’m working on all of this:  why I’m so callous sometimes and don’t care about others, why I can’t force myself to feel for people and relatives who have no impact on my life, why my heart is walled off, and why, in general, I do things the way I do.

None of this is easy.  Change is definitely not here.  I pray and I pray and I pray.  Then I pray some more. But walls are still there, protecting whatever got hurt inside of me and not allowing anyone except the chosen few in.

I wish I could say what all of this is but I can’t.  In fact, I can’t tell you anything.

At this point my new solution is to just not say anything.  That way I won’t offend anyone and create any awkward situations when something cold-hearted leaves my mouth.

We have a wedding next week (husband’s family) and I fully intend to just say the polite greetings and that’s it.  And watch my kids.

“If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.”  So I won’t.

Until I can figure something out.

But somewhere deep inside of me I believe only God can do this.  Willing myself to care hasn’t worked for the last 20 years and I don’t see it working in the next 20.

But God can do anything.

So I hold on to that when I screw up (which is quite often).  I hold onto Him.  Because He loves me.  Love I don’t have but I want.

Because when it comes down to it, who else is there?