One of the Hardest Things in Life is Knowing Your Dog is Dying and Watching Her Do So…

My dog is old.  Very old for her breed.

Starting about a month ago, she started not eating a lot.  Then she refused the dog food she’s been eating for years so I switched.  Now, I have to spoon feed her to get her to eat.  I have to call her out of her bed.  She struggles to get up.  I choke up every time…

Last night, her breathing became labored.  I scoured the internet, looking for hope.

All I found was forebodings.

I realize every passing day is borrowed time with her.  I pet her every chance I get.  I pray over her.  I beseech God for a miracle even though I know it’s a pipe dream.  I wish I could do something to make her better.

She has been with me for almost 1/3 of my life.  She has seen all of my most cherished moments in life:  getting married and having my three beautiful children.  She was there through it all.  I cannot imagine her absence in my life…

The depth of my love for my dog is indescribable.  Her passing will devastate me.  It absolutely will.

I pray, “God, let her be the first thing to greet me in heaven when I arrive.”

It’s the only comfort I get.

And that’s not any at all…

Moving NEVER Gets Any Easier…

I just watched two deer pass through our back field, casually nibbling green grass on their way to a nice resting spot for the day.

It made me sad….

We are moving again (I know, big shock).

But as I get older, each move gets harder.

And not because of the physical packing (although this isn’t fun, either).

It gets harder because in each place we move to I miss the life I leave behind.  The last place we moved, I hated.  With a passion.  Yet, I miss the things I did with my kids there that I can’t do here.  One is catch dragonflies.  They were everywhere this time of year and we caught them repeatedly and drew them and then let them go.

Another is the cemetery we visited.  It was fun to walk around and catch butterflies and visit the people there.

Now, I will miss our land here.  5 acres with a swamp that teemed with red-winged blackbirds in the spring and deer that would pass through for a bit.  Along with visiting songbirds and the Western Meadowlark who would serenade us every day.  Now, we see their babies, fattening up on insects before they leave for the winter.

We are moving just 40 minutes away and I’m excited.  It will be closer to everything the kids do.  It is a bigger house that will suit our needs better.  It has a big back yard (but no where near 5 acres).  It will be home.

Still, memories linger and those are hard to keep at bay.

Old Next to New

You leave one life to start another.  Easy and exciting when you are young.  Not so much now…

But I trust in God that He has a plan.  One day we’ll find a permanent home and it will be just right. Where?  I have no idea (my husband mentioned Canada the other day).  When?  Who knows.

I snapped this picture the other day when we were four-wheeling.  At the time, I just thought it was an interesting picture.  Now, it’s a symbol of how new thrives next to old.  Both co-exist together.  Both have their place.  In my memories.  And in life.

Informal Poll on BSF Genesis Start Dates

Hey all,

It’s that time again–BSF TIME!!!

In the past, I’ve received emails from some who say I am behind their class as I know some start earlier than others and have requested I “catch up”.  I have also received emails from those complaining I’m ahead of them and to stop posting the answers early (apparently these people don’t realize not everyone is on their schedule).

So I’ve decided to do an informal poll on start dates for the various classes around the world so I can be in synch with as many of you as possible and to avoid those nasty emails/comments accusing me of “ruining the BSF experience.”

Most likely, I will start when my class starts UNLESS I hear otherwise from you all.

Please leave a comment if you’d like on this post with your start date and/or positive thoughts on the matter.   I got enough negativity right now in my life without listening to yours.