When Life Matters Most…

Last night, I lost my almost 13 year-old English Mastiff.

I knew he was dying.  He told me so in his own words.  He wouldn’t move.  He wouldn’t eat.  He wouldn’t drink.  He cried.  But only because he wanted me by his side–not because he was sad or fearful or in pain.

I often wonder if dogs know when their time is up.  Having watched two of my pups die, they get a look in their eyes that says, “Momma, it’s time.”

I sat with him last night until I could take it no more.  He knew I was there.  That’s all that mattered to him.

I woke this morning and first thing I checked.  And I knew instantly…

The vet called this morning.  I made my husband answer the phone and tell her.

I am only consoled by the life he led.  It was good.  REAL good.  God put this creature in my life to care for and I did.

He was my misunderstood dog.  Big.  But afraid of people.  Loving.  But only to his “pack”. Demanding when it was time to eat.  Quiet and content otherwise.  No one else wanted him.  But I did.  And it goes without saying: loyal to the end.

He was a good, good dog.  He will forever be missed.  But he will forever be in my heart–with me wherever I go.

He’s with his sister now.  They are running and playing together again.  Awaiting me to join them. But having all the patience in the world…

I know he is happy.  Content.  At peace now.  And loving me from above.  I love you, my sweet, sweet pup.  Forever.


One of the Hardest Things in Life is Knowing Your Dog is Dying and Watching Her Do So…

My dog is old.  Very old for her breed.

Starting about a month ago, she started not eating a lot.  Then she refused the dog food she’s been eating for years so I switched.  Now, I have to spoon feed her to get her to eat.  I have to call her out of her bed.  She struggles to get up.  I choke up every time…

Last night, her breathing became labored.  I scoured the internet, looking for hope.

All I found was forebodings.

I realize every passing day is borrowed time with her.  I pet her every chance I get.  I pray over her.  I beseech God for a miracle even though I know it’s a pipe dream.  I wish I could do something to make her better.

She has been with me for almost 1/3 of my life.  She has seen all of my most cherished moments in life:  getting married and having my three beautiful children.  She was there through it all.  I cannot imagine her absence in my life…

The depth of my love for my dog is indescribable.  Her passing will devastate me.  It absolutely will.

I pray, “God, let her be the first thing to greet me in heaven when I arrive.”

It’s the only comfort I get.

And that’s not any at all…