when life gets in the way of you and god atozmomm.com

How NOT to Feel Guilty When Life Gets in the Way

To say this year has been strange would be a graniose understatement. Everyone is coping the best they can and in different ways. And it seems as if things change on a daily basis. Making plans has become futile it seems. Some people have cancelled plans to go and see family and friends. Some people have hardly left the house. Others have moved states or even left the country to flee the chaos that life has been.

In the midst of COVID-19, living your life, dealing with your job (or your job loss), taking care of your kids (maybe even schooling them at home for the first time), and still doing all of your chores and some of your activities at least, you may have forgotten to pray every night because you are worried about what your future looks like. It may have been a while since you’ve opened the Bible because you truly don’t feel like it.

Most of us have been banned from attending church, further pushing us away from God and pushing Him our of our minds (no, attending church online is just not the same community that God intended). The world is against growing with God (which it always has been, but it’s infinitely harder to do so now).

DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT NOT GROWING WITH GOD!

Life has gotten in the way of your growth with God, and I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. God knows everything. He knows your heart. He knows your soul. He knows your intent. He most definitely know about this COVID virus and what it’s done to our world.

We all move through times in our life where we are extremely close to God and where we are far away. It’s okay to be far away. You don’t need to beat yourself up over it.

One of the best things about God is that He is there when you are ready. He knows you’ll turn back to Him. And He patiently waits. He forgives you. So forgive yourself.

Do what you have to do to mentally, emotionally, financially, and physically survive this pandemic. THEN, God will be there.

Why Sometimes I Feel Far From God

For the last few weeks or so, I’ve been feeling far from God.  And I couldn’t figure out why.  I was forcing myself to pray at night and it was usually just quick and simple like “Thank you God for everything” type prayer.  Church wasn’t speaking to me.  Bible Study wasn’t speaking to me.  And God, of course, wasn’t speaking to me either.  I couldn’t read the Bible and really couldn’t do much of anything but go through the motions (something I hate doing).  At least I didn’t hear anything because I wasn’t listening.  Something was in the way.

Then, I started working on my novel again.  I started reading advice on the internet and doing research and an idea came to junk my first chapter and begin with chapter two.  Well, I loved my first chapter so this is always hard when you are cutting stuff that’s good but not good enough to grab the reader right off the bat.

So I felt energized.  I did this relentlessly, every spare moment for a couple of days.  I started to feel like I was accomplishing something, moving towards my goals in life.  And since this is my God-given purpose in life I started to feel a bit closer to God.

Gradually, over a week or so, I felt closer and closer.  I listened to on-line talks from church.  I finished up BSF and delved in a bit deeper on some things.  I read my blog and all the encouragement and joy I receive from it began to soak in.  I found a new God-song to fill my weary soul with music that is so important in my life.

All of these things added up to yesterday where I was excited to spend time with God.  I eagerly prayed, read the Bible, and went about my daily routine with a spring in my step.  But with God, it’s never a routine.  I had BSF, the sun was shining, my daughter had her first guitar lesson, and husband came home.

In the midst of this, I learned a few things:

1) Don’t force it.  I didn’t freak out.  I just let what be….be.  I knew I had strayed, got in a funk for whatever reason and I just took a step back, knowing I’d be close again soon, letting whatever emotional junk get out of the way.

2) I knew God was there.  I was just walking a few steps behind Him.  I knew I’d catch up soon enough.

3) God knew what I needed before I did.  He knew what to send me at the right time to snap the inhibitor in my brain out of my human resistance.  I didn’t know this one at the time but because I was relatively calm I recognized it when it happened.

My understanding of God has increased.  I grew in my walk with Him because of this.  My trust in Him increased.  He showed me His faithfulness again.  And He re-iterated His purpose for my life.  All of which makes me who I am sitting here today–and a bit more like Jesus.

And it’s okay to feel far from Him for a bit.  It’s in His plan for us. It’s human.  It’s natural.  He knows we’re not perfect.  He knows our heart.  And He welcomes us back with open arms.