Category: Life

Trying to Discover God’s Path in My Life

by atozmom, posted in Faith, Life

I’m not a people person.  I’m just not.

I don’t like idle chit-chat.  I don’t like talking about things that don’t concern me (weather in NY, celebrities, hair trends, etc).  I have no patience.  Wasting time is one of my biggest pet peeves. Self-control is my hardest fruit of the spirit.

But, I feel prompted by God to start something–something that involves people–but I don’t know what.  I’m thinking a homeschool group when/if we move or a Bunko group or BSF or something.

Some days I’m gung-ho on this.  It’s all I think about (besides finishing my novel, kids, life, etc) and run through the numerous benefits and psyche myself up for it.  Other days, I have a melt-down or do something stupid and think, “What am I thinking?  I can’t work with other people!  I don’t even like these other people!”

So, I don’t know if God wants to stretch my comfort zone and make me more of a people person or if He’s trying to say, “Stop! Go back to book writing and leave the world of people to someone else!”

Any advice out there on interpreting God’s messengers?  Or maybe from someone like me:  a non-people person who thinks they might want to become one?

I Believe in You

by atozmom, posted in Faith, Life

This is the title of the new series at church.  I had to fight tears the whole time.

Our pastor may not be the most eloquent but he has one thing going for him:  he is authentic, God-centered, and heart-felt.  He often cries when he speaks about God and one can’t help but feel his passion for the Lord.

At some point or points, one person or persons believed in you. They told you, “Yes, you can” when others (including yourself) believed otherwise.  Our pastor related his personal story and gave credit to his wife who admittedly he said he wouldn’t be here without her.  She believed in him when he didn’t.  He founded our church 28 years ago with 7 people and now it’s in the thousands.

We need to believe in others.  We need to believe in our spouse. We need to invest in those nearest us–someone. We need an older mentor. We need an encourager.  We need to give of ourselves in order to live.

God wants us to quit settling.  God wants us to have all He has given to us; to seize it.  Satan will try to talk us out of everything God wants us to do.  He will lie to us.

Jesus commissioned his 11 disciples to spread his work.  Jesus believed in them.  He believed in Peter, who denied him 3 times.

God believes in us.  He wants us to follow His call on our life.  God believes in us when we don’t know if we want to go on.

Romans 8:31  If God is for us, who can be against us?

Several songs popped in my mind:  Our God by Chris Tomlin, The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets, and You Never Let Go by Matt Redman

We need to believe we can do whatever our calling/purpose is in this world.  This gets me through when I’m stuck.  I tell myself, “This is God’s work.  It’s for Him.  It will be all worth it when it’s done.”

When was the last time someone told you they believed in you? When was the last time you told someone you believed in them?

You might not remember.  But I bet you remember the last time you needed to hear it.

A Dog’s Life

by atozmom, posted in Dogs, Life

As I sit here typing this, my male Mastiff is lying by my side (he’s really in my way but he’s too cute to make him move).

There are many days I want a dog’s life.  How rough can it be when your food and water appear magically every day (free room and board), you can sleep wherever you want whenever you want, you lie around in the sun and throw out a few barks here and there, and you have no worries?  You lead a great life, loved by the family, and petted every now and then.

You really don’t have to do anything.  Looking cute helps and being adorable.  Barking when the doorbell rings helps to alert your owners.  Wagging your tail when your owners return home.  Occasional lick here and there to show appreciation.

Then it’s back to bed until dinner time.

Quite an easy day, wouldn’t you agree?

There Is a Tide…

by atozmom, posted in Book Reviews, Life

There is a tide in the affairs of men

Which taken at the flood leads on to fortune;

Omitted, all the voyage of their life

Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

On such a full sea are we now afloat,

And we must take the current when it serves,

Or lose our ventures.

Passage from Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare.

I hope this is me now.

The Healing Power of Books

by atozmom, posted in Life, Writing

Katherine Paterson said, “Books can help make peace within a child’s troubled heart.  We must be brave enough to give children books that have the power to heal.”

I LOVE this.  I believe this is one of my goals in writing books.  I deal with difficult subjects and portray characters who come through it.  My books are full of hope and I think kids need more of that these days with every thing that society throws at them.

The books that make the most impact on our lives are those whom we can identify with the main character.  Why do we identify with them?  Because we see ourselves in them.  This is what makes books great and gives them lasting endurance.

Do You Pause to Give God Credit?

by atozmom, posted in Faith, Life, Writing

How many times have you paused lately to give God credit for events in your life?

I know I try, especially on Sundays in church, but I’m bad at giving him credit for the little things:  like today for a perfect bike ride with my son where we saw frogs, pelicans, geese, birds, and squirrels–His creations all around us.

I’m bad at giving him credit for the big things too such as my new novel idea (I always say a prayer of thanks but continually giving him praise is hard for me) or for maybe getting us out of this apartment through a nice couple that may sublet from us or for my husband’s new job that is allowing us to go vacation for the first time in at least five years, for us to get our teeth cleaned, and for us to visit the doctor without worry of bills to come in the mail.

I’m reading Daniel in the Old Testament who continually gave God credit for everything despite being exiled in a foreign country his entire life (Babylon).  It’s amazing how far faith can get you.

I do know in my heart I will write the novel that will find the perfect literary agent and an audience as long as I keep following God’s word and his word in my life.

So I will endeavor to pause more to thank God for his little blessings (and his big ones) as I continue on my life’s journey.

Dwelling On Death

by atozmom, posted in Life

Lately, I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately.  What if my husband died what would I do?  What if one of my dogs died?  What about my grandparents?  This could be attributed to my very somber mood as of late or the fact I just finished reading Lamentations in the Bible which describes the death and destruction of Jerusalem in 586 BC by the Babylonians but as I was laying in bed this morning, thinking of death and checking to make sure my dogs were breathing, my writing surfaced again in my mind.  What if my novels are dead?

This I believe is what is driving my thoughts on death–the fact that my writings/novels may be dead and I’m just not prepared to deal with this or let them go.  A book by nature is a living document for every time it is read it comes alive in the mind of the reader or listener.  I want my novels to come alive repeatedly–not die a horrible death on my computer never being read.

Death is something we don’t have control over.  When your time is up, you are called.  Maybe this is what God is trying to teach me about my novels.  I want to have control over their life and death but I can’t really force a publisher to publish it, now can I?  I thought I’ve handed my novels over to God’s will but maybe I haven’t.  Recently, I have let the fact that my career is going no where get to me and maybe I shouldn’t have.  After all, if it was meant to be (it being my novels published or me have a writing career), it will be.  It has been predetermined and all I have to do is act on it.  God already knows.  I just wish I did.  It would definitely make the rejections a lot easier to handle knowing someone else will believe in me.

If God Brings You To It, He Will Bring You Through It

by atozmom, posted in Life

Life doesn’t always turn out how you plan, does it?  Take me for example:  I always thought I’d be a high-power business woman, jetting across oceans and making deals that would change the way business operated.

Yet, here I am:  a mother of three beautiful babies whose dream now is to become a published writer.

Would I ever have imagined that back in high school?  No way!

Then there’s the path I’ve walked so far:  been married, great life, husband’s business fails, declared bankruptcy, lost everything, moved all over the country, husband struggling in the job market–to here–living in an apartment complex surrounded by people on power trips.

All of this serves a purpose.  One, it has made me a hell of a strong person.  Two, it is great writing material.  Three, it has made me who I am, at this moment, sitting here typing this.  And I kind of like who I am.

God has brought me to all of these moments (good and bad) and so far I’ve made it through all of them.  And I will survive apartment living for the next few months until we can either lease/option a house or rent for another year.  It will all work out in the end.

Funny though: in the moment it sucks and afterwards it was no big deal.