Lately, I’ve been very discouraged with the progress of my book. It’s done but I’m still trying to find a literary agent to no avail. Every time I sit down to query, I’m just overcome with a sense of hopelessness and despair and the rejects that occasionally still filter in do not ameliorate the situation at all.
So, church today was about the Enemy or Devil and how he comes against us and we are in a constant struggle (usually invisible) against him. This made me immediately think of my novel because I completely agreed that it’s the Devil at work on my will to get this published. I do believe this book is a strong book for all people and will help them in their struggles and it does grapple with the question of God’s role in our lives. Thus, I think the Devil may be upon me every time I try to work on it (be it querying, editing, writing, etc).
Step 1) is being aware of this battle and how it’s the Devil focusing on my weaknesses (which are aversion to criticism, my writing sucks, I will never get this published, etc).
Step 2) is depend on God’s strengths to overcome and not yours. This is important, especially since writing is such a lonely craft. I do feel alone sometimes in my struggles with this book.
Step 3) will be to use God’s protection to win the battle over him.
I am excited for this next series so I can learn some tools in order to put my mind where it needs to be to create and do God’s work–ultimately your life’s purpose.
So, today church was about being content and grateful for what’s in your life and to not take things for granted because it can all vanish in an instant. I am trying really hard, but I often let life get to me and I really don’t know why.
I’ve been through some tough times and we’re on an upswing right now: new job, new apartment, new school, etc. We have money now, especially here in the next couple of weeks once we get our taxes back and pay some debts off. Still, I can’t help but feel…down. I’m going to start P90X again tomorrow after two weeks off from our move so I hope that helps.
My husband’s out of town so we can’t move any furniture in until he returns. I don’t have internet until the 11th (I’m just writing these and will post once I get it), which is really making me feel disconnected from the world. I haven’t been inspired to write or query. I haven’t been inspired to do much.
I’m back in contact with my sister after about 4 months of not speaking and she’s annoying. She’s well off but all I hear out of her is how poor she is and it’s getting old. This is not to mention her other miniscule problems in life.
Then there are the moments when my son crawls into my lap and I just hug him and kiss him.
Still, it’s hard to get over feeling overwhelmed and down. Today’s message was to trust in the Lord since He’s all we have really. Our stuff can be taken away, people can be taken away, and even us will go one day. He is the one constant.
So I guess I have to read my Bible more and trust more in Him and His plan. Where else can I put my hope?