Does It Matter If I Ever Get Published?

I recently resurrected my women’s fiction novel.  The new query (one of a thousand versions) came to me in a split second moment and I believe it is my strongest yet.  It has led me back to re-working my novel just a bit in order to incorporate ideas from my query.

If you have been following my blog, then you know how incredibly frustrated I have been from this whole publishing industry.  It has gotten me down, caused numerous tears, and left me overall depressed.

Yet, as I listened to my recently downloaded God music on my IPod and this query just came to me, I thought, “Does it even matter if I ever get published if I’m enjoying what I’m doing, spending my time doing what I want to do, and answering my heart’s and God’s calling?”

My recent answer is, “NO, it doesn’t matter.  It would be nice but should be only icing on the cake, not the end-all and the solver of my problems.”

Don’t get me wrong, I intend to fight with everything in my body to have my dreams realized.  But, if it doesn’t happen in my time frame, it won’t be the end of me.  I still have my real life to lead–one of family–that trumps this life I lead in my stories.  And it is this life that matters the most.

Coincidence or Fate?

Lately, I have been so discouraged with trying to get my novel published that I have been fighting daily to query.

So, today I sat down to try again the the 30 minutes I had before I had to start dinner and the first agent I came upon offered up encouragement.  I clicked on her site and the subtitle read, “A published author is an amateur who didn’t quit.  Don’t quit.”

This hit me hard as this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear.  It spoke to me as if a God-thing.  The agent’s name is Mandy Hubbard and her site is http://mandyhubbard.livejournal.com

I have been questioning if this whole writing thing is worth the time, effort, and emotional toll it takes on me when I pour my heart and soul into something I truly believe in.  I don’t deal well with rejection and I’m just tired of being told, “No, sorry, not good enough.”

But Ms. Hubbard’s site was wonderful.  I queried her immediately as I thought, “Maybe she’s the one, the one God brought me to.”

Only time will tell if she likes my work or not.  Regardless, her words touched me and I was happy to promote her book on my website as part of her contest.  I hope she succeeds immensely as one day I know I will too.