Tag: Writing

Do You Pause to Give God Credit?

by atozmom, posted in Faith, Life, Writing

How many times have you paused lately to give God credit for events in your life?

I know I try, especially on Sundays in church, but I’m bad at giving him credit for the little things:  like today for a perfect bike ride with my son where we saw frogs, pelicans, geese, birds, and squirrels–His creations all around us.

I’m bad at giving him credit for the big things too such as my new novel idea (I always say a prayer of thanks but continually giving him praise is hard for me) or for maybe getting us out of this apartment through a nice couple that may sublet from us or for my husband’s new job that is allowing us to go vacation for the first time in at least five years, for us to get our teeth cleaned, and for us to visit the doctor without worry of bills to come in the mail.

I’m reading Daniel in the Old Testament who continually gave God credit for everything despite being exiled in a foreign country his entire life (Babylon).  It’s amazing how far faith can get you.

I do know in my heart I will write the novel that will find the perfect literary agent and an audience as long as I keep following God’s word and his word in my life.

So I will endeavor to pause more to thank God for his little blessings (and his big ones) as I continue on my life’s journey.

Does It Matter If I Ever Get Published?

by atozmom, posted in Writing

I recently resurrected my women’s fiction novel.  The new query (one of a thousand versions) came to me in a split second moment and I believe it is my strongest yet.  It has led me back to re-working my novel just a bit in order to incorporate ideas from my query.

If you have been following my blog, then you know how incredibly frustrated I have been from this whole publishing industry.  It has gotten me down, caused numerous tears, and left me overall depressed.

Yet, as I listened to my recently downloaded God music on my IPod and this query just came to me, I thought, “Does it even matter if I ever get published if I’m enjoying what I’m doing, spending my time doing what I want to do, and answering my heart’s and God’s calling?”

My recent answer is, “NO, it doesn’t matter.  It would be nice but should be only icing on the cake, not the end-all and the solver of my problems.”

Don’t get me wrong, I intend to fight with everything in my body to have my dreams realized.  But, if it doesn’t happen in my time frame, it won’t be the end of me.  I still have my real life to lead–one of family–that trumps this life I lead in my stories.  And it is this life that matters the most.

Dwelling On Death

by atozmom, posted in Life

Lately, I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately.  What if my husband died what would I do?  What if one of my dogs died?  What about my grandparents?  This could be attributed to my very somber mood as of late or the fact I just finished reading Lamentations in the Bible which describes the death and destruction of Jerusalem in 586 BC by the Babylonians but as I was laying in bed this morning, thinking of death and checking to make sure my dogs were breathing, my writing surfaced again in my mind.  What if my novels are dead?

This I believe is what is driving my thoughts on death–the fact that my writings/novels may be dead and I’m just not prepared to deal with this or let them go.  A book by nature is a living document for every time it is read it comes alive in the mind of the reader or listener.  I want my novels to come alive repeatedly–not die a horrible death on my computer never being read.

Death is something we don’t have control over.  When your time is up, you are called.  Maybe this is what God is trying to teach me about my novels.  I want to have control over their life and death but I can’t really force a publisher to publish it, now can I?  I thought I’ve handed my novels over to God’s will but maybe I haven’t.  Recently, I have let the fact that my career is going no where get to me and maybe I shouldn’t have.  After all, if it was meant to be (it being my novels published or me have a writing career), it will be.  It has been predetermined and all I have to do is act on it.  God already knows.  I just wish I did.  It would definitely make the rejections a lot easier to handle knowing someone else will believe in me.

Will I Always Self-Doubt?

by atozmom, posted in Writing

I had been riding a temporary high as I’ve resurrected a previously-thought dead novel and edited it to something new.  So, I’ve been pretty excited lately.

However, as I edit it and re-read it, I can’t help but think I’ll never get published with any project.  I’m trying to stay true to myself and write what’s in my heart and yet as I peruse blogs and articles on my genre, I am only discouraged.  Either by my obscure character (how tough it is to sell YA or literary women’s fiction) or just the mere fact that getting published by anyone these days would be a shear miracle.

I keep thinking my work is utter crap.  Yet I read recently if you can’t give up writing, then don’t and keep trying.  Well, I’m pretty sure I can’t give it up and I will always harbor hope somewhere within.

I’m just frustrated.  I know the harder you work for something, the more you’ll appreciate it.  I just don’t want to work 20 years on my dream and my life be near the end before I ever see my work in print.  How long is enough, God?  I’ve been plugging away at this dream now for 3 years now and I’d like to see even one sign of success, some kind of confirmation I’m not completely wasting my time here–ya know, maybe land an agent or something.

All I’m asking for here is some help.  Divine intervention would be nice.

Staying True to Your Writing Style

by atozmom, posted in Writing

I’ve been editing my YA novel, based on a few agents’ suggestions.  I have incorporated some of their suggestions but I have constantly been asking myself, “How true do I stay to my own unique writing style?  How much do I alter?”

Sure, I want to get published so some will say, “Do whatever you have to do in order to please people.”  Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying to please.  Yet, I don’t want to gut my novel so much that readers miss the subtleties in the characters.  I still want it to be my work.

There’s a limit to how much I’ll do.  Now, once I get signed and a professional editor reviews my work, they can change whatever they want to (grammatically speaking).  But, for me, it pains me when I make a change I don’t believe is pertinent to the story so I avoid those at all costs.  I’m just too close to my work.

So, I’ll do what I can and then be satisfied, hoping a professional can add the sizzle after wards.

Any other thoughts?

Ephiphany

by atozmom, posted in Writing

Nothing in my life has come easy.  I only earned straight A’s in high school because I studied hard every day.  I only survived college projects because I worked hard.

So why I thought writing would be ANY different is beyond me.  For whatever reason, I thought it would be easy–you sit down, write a book, find an agent, and wha-lah, published author.  But, I was wrong, very wrong.

Writing the book is not easy.  The first draft is easy.  It’s the twentieth draft and beyond that is not.

So, as I start my umpteenth ‘final’ revision, I have realized this is how it’s supposed to be:  hard.  So, I’m gonna suck it up and get to work!

The Power of a Good Book

by atozmom, posted in Writing

I just finished Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer.  It was really good.  The ending was great.  There were a few parts that dragged but it was good.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if I could ever do that.  Sure, that’s my dream but with no one exactly knocking on my door to publish my stuff, it just makes me question if it will ever come true.

I liked being sucked in and I wonder if I could ever do that.  There’s just so much I don’t know–about my future, the stories I fill pages with, what God will put in my head to write about…

Answers would be nice to life’s questions, wouldn’t they?

Music and Writing

by atozmom, posted in Writing

When I first read Twilight and Ms. Meyer gave credit to a band that she listened to when she wrote the story, I just didn’t get it.  I like to write in silence so I was confused at first.  Yet, lately, I’ve gotten it.

Ever since my husband got me my IPod, I’ve been listening to the same 10 songs over and over.  These are the songs that most speak to my heart about my life right now and where I want it to head.

Needless to say, they do inspire my writing.  I listen to them before I sit down to write and all throughout the day as I ponder what I will write.  They take me back to the time and place I need to be…the time my story takes place.  They re-new the feelings I had, the ones I’m trying to re-create, and they center me as I type.

Some songs encourage me…telling me I can do this if I only keep trying.  Some songs remind me of who I used to be.  Others tell me what’s important in this life as I try to convey these messages to others.

What about you?  Do you listen to music as you write or are you inspired by music?  I’d love to hear your stories.

Still Resisting…

by atozmom, posted in Writing

I am still resisting with every ounce of my being my re-write of my YA novel.  Yet, I’m pushing through it.  I fixed the first chapter (the major issues I found) and have yet to re-read the entire thing and fix the little things.  This is the part I am not looking forward to.  It’s the getting pulled back into my story when I had already put the characters to bed for the night that is the hard part.

I had intended to do that this morning but my son is awake and sitting on my lap and I really have to desire to cry over my story with him here.  Plus, I have to plan homeschool for next week, clean my house, and we have early soccer games so I will postpone this until early tomorrow morning.  I like to work early in the mornings when all is quiet and (supposedly) all is sleeping.  It’s easier for me to work in big chunks of time than lots of tiny ones.

I hope to finish this up soon because it is weighing me down.

Writing is a lonely craft and I’d agree with that.  I’ve been advised to join a writing group and have my work critiqued, which I know is the smart thing to do.  Yet, with all my other responsibilities, I just don’t have the time.  Trust-worthy baby sitters are hard to come by and those are usually reserved for doctors appointments and such.  Plus, I’m HORRIBLE with criticism.  I’d rather stab myself than hear my work critiqued.  I know it’s necessary but when your characters are such a part of yourself, it’s like someone is stabbing me anyways.

Yet part of this is about me.  It’s about seeing how perfect I can create something and then having an editor pare it down.  If I had the spare cash, I’d hire someone to edit it for me.  So, for right now, I’m going solo and trusting in God to guide my hands and write what He believes is important.

One More Time

by atozmom, posted in Writing

I was discussing my novel last night with my husband who tried to convince me that people don’t want to read about dark topics like my YA novel.  I threw out counter-examples like “The Road” in my defense.

So, I went to sleep last night debating whether or not I should completely scrap my entire novel and just start over.  But God will just not let me let this one go.

So, I awoke with many numerous ideas flitting through my mind and I’m willing to give it one more good edit before it’s laid to rest like the rest of my works, destined to be just a word file on my computer I suppose.

What has happened is that I’ve cut out all the beginning/introduction in order to make the new beginning pop.  Well, now I realize I may have cut TOO much and need to re-work it.  My task has become:  make the first five pages sizzle so I can get someone to actually read my novel completely because I know the rest is good: the plot twists, the ending, the ups and downs of the characters, the arc, etc.

Now I need to add some stuff back in but yet in an interesting way, not necessarily chronological.  I may have to increase a character’s flaws (which is numerous as it stands but not prevalent in the beginning) and edit my superfluous writing style once again.

I wish I could say I’m looking forward to this–but I’m not.  It’s another necessary evil on the road to publication.  I am praying fervently for God’s guidance in this one.  I will need it once more.