I’ve read this before from authors who have made it. They began just writing a story for themselves (Stephenie Meyers says on her website she wrote Twilight for her personal enjoyment). Somewhere amongst all my readings on plotting and planning a novel and choosing an audience this advice got lost.
As I’m re-writing my YA novel to strengthen it (hopefully), this popped into my mind.
I started to think of my past: how I used to run a website that sold my non-fiction parenting book. How I had looked into POD (publishing-on-demand) places such as Lulu.com. How at the time this process was incredibly fulfilling even though it all tanked (that’s a whole other story).
Now, as I write this novel of mine, I’m at a part that made me smile. One of my main characters is speaking and he says something hokey but something that would melt my heart if I were a teenager. Note the emphasis on me.
I took a big hit on my last post for it being all about me. And you all are probably right. I’m selfish. Arrogant apparently as some of you have pointed out in the past. At times, not God-centered. There are a few of you who repeatedly tell me like it is and for that I am eternally grateful.
But I know in my heart what God wishes for me: to be happy and enjoy this fleeting life. To live for Him; to better this world He created until He calls me home.
This blog is about me. It’s about what’s happening in my life. It’s about my real feelings I lay on the line for all of you to comment on, share your life experiences, and offer advice, chastisement, and encouragement. It’s about my struggles in life, my fights, my victories, my growth, and my God. And I just so happen to post BSF answers which brought most of you here (why you all stay I’m not for sure).
I am as real as I can be on paper. Probably more so real than the farces I would wear in person. It’s easier to be freer when you all don’t know me.
I can say things to you all I can’t tell my family. I can work through my problems and see it all laid out on a written screen. It’s therapeutic. I can go back to times in my life and see where I’ve been and where I’ve come from.
You can choose to read this or not (again sometimes I wonder why any of you do actually. My struggles can’t be that entertaining, can they?) You can comment or not. You can hopefully take something from this or not (even if it’s “that lady is a pyscho!”). It’s all relative to you, isn’t it? And ultimately to me, too.
I hope (and like to think) I help others out there through sharing my struggles. This is part of what keeps me posting, keeps me writing.
Back to my point: I began thinking of all the possibilities out there for publishing, etc. Sure, who wouldn’t want a major publishing house to back your work. But if they don’t, will my life end? No.
I do write for me. It gives me something utterly unexplainable. It fulfills me much like prayer does. It fills me up when I’m empty. I turn to writing when I’m depressed (such as this time in my life). It’s like a counselor. Someone to listen to me.
Ultimately, I write what God wants me to write, what He tells me to say since everything comes from Him. I think I get lost though sometimes in expectations or what have you.
And a lot of the time this is just plain fun! This is my entertainment a lot of the time. I enjoy diving into issues especially about God with you all. I can question here and get honest feedback.
And I can work through ideas (much like brain-storming) and narrow down what exactly I want to do in this world.
Still working on that one though!
End Note: You may be baffled by some of my posts. Sometimes I write things just so I can remember them like the post about my son stealing the opposing team’s soccer snacks. Things I always want to remember that I wouldn’t otherwise.