I Never Thought I’d Say This But…

I like editing.

I used to hate it.  Despise it.  Curse it.

Now, it’s a challenge to me.  To make my writing better.  To find the awkward wordings and sentences.  To tighten up my story.  To eliminate repetition.  To make my story the best it can possibly be in hopes of landing an agent and getting published.

What Keeps Me Going...
What Keeps Me Going…

I’ve set an unofficial deadline for myself of June 1st to finish this novel and begin querying. It’s finished. But I’m not sure if I’ll be done editing it by then.

But it’ll be close.  Very, very close.

Oops!  Shouldn’t use the word ‘very’ now should I?

I Have a Serious Writing Problem…

I was working on my query letter this morning, tinkering with the wording because I have it almost where I want it when I was struck by a thought:  this query letter is better than my book!  I’d better make my book just as good!

So, I began tinkering on my novel again….my finished novel–at least what I had previously thought was finished.

I have had this problem with all of my work.  It’s never finished. I’m constantly tinkering and it drives me up the wall!

I’m wondering if anyone else has this problem.  Just now, I was tinkering some more (well, since I had already started, why stop now?).

I can’t stop myself.  I tell myself I’m done.  Then I’m at it again.

So, I’m wondering:  Is a novel ever finished?  And when?  When it’s in print and you can’t make any more changes?  This I see as my scenario.

Any comments would be most welcome (especially ones saying I’m not crazy!).

Nothing About This is Easy….

Have I said this before?  It seems like I say this all the time.

I am editing….again….and it’s driving me up the wall.  I keep changing stuff, hopefully making it better, but it’s such a slow process.  I hate it.  And I don’t use hate lightly.

Nothing about this is easy.  Nothing about this is fun.  Nothing about this is uplifting, inspiring, or even tolerable.

I keep praying I get this thing published mainly for one reason: so I can hire someone to edit my future work henceforth.

It’s boring.  I know this stuff like the back of my hand.  It’s mind-numbing.  It’s outright awful.

This will be my last time.  I just can’t take it anymore!  I am just praying for the fortitude to finish this round and quickly.

I thought (for some stupid reason), This’ll be easy.  Just one more quick read-through before querying.  It’ll only take a couple of days. Wrong again.

I should have known better.  It’s not quick.  I guess I just tell myself this so I’ll do it.  Because once I start it gets done.

But only from God’s will, not mine.  I would have given up long ago.

Just When I Think I’m Done…

I have been anxious to begin querying on my novel.  I’ve been this way since I finished really.  Last week, I thought I was done so I began to write my query letter.  I worked on it some more this morning when I read something on the internet that made me decide to rip apart my first and second chapters.

So, I spent 2 hours this morning doing just that.  Fine.  But I’m just that much further from being done.

Then I had a thought that I usually always have when I’m writing a book:  does it really matter anyways? Will anyone ever read this?  Does anyone care but me?

It’s just frustrating.  People think writing is easy.  It’s not.  Far from it.  It’s constant second-guessing. Constant wondering if this sounds right, if this is saying what I think it’s saying, and if anyone will ever read this stuff beyond, well, me.

And when the tough part is over (completing a novel) then the selling begins (an even tougher part for me)–convincing someone my novel is worth something to someone else besides me.

I dread this part but yet it’s the most important element.  I’m taking my time on this one, trying not to screw this one up.  Trying not to screw any of it up really.

So I pray and hope and keep working and maybe one day…

It’s Great to Be Writing BUT…

I’ve spent the last few days concentrating on editing my novel.  Today was especially good because I finished reviewing the whole text again for the sixth or seventh time.

But, now I’m finding my excitement waning as I know the hard part is still ahead.

I got a critique back on my previous novel, basically ripping me for numerous things including character characterization contradictions, passive tense, telling not showing, and much more.

So, now I have to review my novel with these things in mind, looking for each specific problem–one at a time.  Which is fine but I’d rather be writing instead of editing.  This is where the real tediousness begins…

But I’m determined not to rush this one and make it as good as I can.

So, I’m going to have to take my list of edits from the top and work my way down (cringing the whole way). But until I am Stephenie Meyers and can pay someone to do this for me this is what will get me an agent and a publishing deal.

So as much as I hate it, I’m gonna suck it up and get to work.  What are my other options?  This is my passion, my purpose.  No one said it would be easy.

God Continues to Amaze

God continues to Amaze me and always in unexpected ways.

As you may recall, I spent the last two weeks altering my latest novel for the umpteenth time.  When I was through, I was so burnt out I told myself, “This is it!  I’m done with this novel.  It can get no better through my hands.”  So, I laid it aside, determined not to touch it again.

Well, then I got this wild idea in my head to enter this writing contest.  The suggestions on the contest said to alter the ending to your first chapter a bit even if it wasn’t the true ending in order to keep the judges engaged and wanting to read more.  Well, I discounted this as frivolous nonsense.

Then, an idea kept popping in my head, one that has been coming up again and again throughout my edits that I have been resisting with the fortitude of all of my might.  This idea told me to re-arrange my first chapter to open with a stronger beginning.  I had discounted it because I believed I needed the intro because it contained crucial motivations to my characters.  However, since the idea kept coming up over and over again, I could dismiss it no longer.  So, I figured, “What could it hurt just to play around with it a bit?”

So, over the next two days, I’ve become obsessed with re-working my first chapter.  Nothing has been added.  Just re-arranged and added a past tense to make it all flow.

What amazes me is that I never would have touched my novel again if I hadn’t been researching writing conferences.  As I was researching writing conferences, I came across the writing contest.  Why was I researching writing conferences?  Because a lady at church mentioned to me that I should attend one.  Now, if that’s not a God-thing, then I’m not for sure what else could be?

So, I incorporated my new first chapter into my novel (it can’t hurt?  It’s not like agents are clamoring after my material anyways) and we’ll go from here.