The message at church today was not new but one I needed to hear. It contained tid-bits I had not thought of and that sheds new light on the increase of my battles as of late.
I have always believed I was meant for more. I was meant to impact this world in a profound way and I was meant to earn a lot of money. I was meant to be a mover and a shaker in this world. The only mystery was how this would all come about.
When I was younger, I used to think it would be through business. So, I trudged through a master’s degree, studying finance (a subject I absolutely hated) in pursuit of this goal. Somewhere along the way, I began keeping a journal, writing poetry, and somehow got the idea that I’d write books someday.
Fast forward 10 years. I’m a stay-at-home mom, living in a 2-bedroom apartment, and struggling to figure out my life’s journey. I have written 3 complete works, all of which have been shot down as little of merit. So I dove back into the Bible, God’s word, and suddenly things began to pop out at me.
1) I realized my life’s purpose: to write God’s words for a broad audience in the form of Young Adult novels–in order to impact the most beginning at the youngest ages.
2) I began noticing the Devil as he has continually tried to bombard me with outside issues in order to distract my path. One example is I have had a collection notice come my way a few days ago and I got very, very angry about it. First, it is of no merit. Second, it is of such a miniscule amount it seems pointless. But I wasted hours on writing letters, plotting the demise of the business through picketing their organization and calling the media, and losing sleep over it. But today in church, I realized this is just once again the Devil trying to take me out, distract me from my life’s purpose, and he was succeeding. No more. I have let it go.
3) I realized God is my God, like my kids are my kids, and He is behind me 100%. It does not matter what others think. He has the power to make things happen.
The lecture in church today focused on how wealth is okay, is even what God wants for your life: to prosper so you are better able to do his work. God wants you to have a generous spirit, to help others at every opportunity, and not to be bogged down in misery and be poor in spirit.
I believe with every ounce of my soul and being that God has called me to make money for Him and the church. I believe my way is through the written word: a medium that can touch countless souls and gently lead them to God’s way and purpose for them. I believe God will prosper me in this way for the greater good of everyone I touch: my family, my church, strangers, the world.
I started this blog in the beginning to vent my frustrations with my life. Now, it has evolved into a permanent record of the sweat and tears that God is bringing me through to fulfill my life’s purpose, the one He has assigned me. I cannot wait for the day when I can cry tears of joy at the success I’ve had and see lives changed because of me. I envision sharing my story with others: how you can come full circle, take wrong turns, make huge money mistakes, and still come out on top. How you can raise a family through all of this. How your family will learn through your example.
One of my 100 things to do before I die is: to speak at my alma mater in Massachusetts. You see, I hated it there. I hated finance, I was a minority, I didn’t fit in. I spent every waking moment waiting until I graduated. I resented every moment as well. I blamed them for my unhappiness when it was really the fact I didn’t belong there, pursuing a dream that was not God’s. I can’t wait to speak there and talk about all of this.
I don’t want to win the lottery anymore. I have already won it. I am pursuing God’s calling for my life each and every day and one day my dream (and His) will be realized–the day I am waiting for. After that, my purpose will only grow stronger and I can only influence more people.
Until then, I live with the hope God has put on my heart. The hope of a better life for many. The hope of dreams realized. The hope I can make an impact for all of eternity.